Well this last week has continued to be a struggle naturally....but I'm still doing my best to seek out blessings daily. I've struggled in thinking that to find positive things, I must also be peppy, up-beat and cheery...when in reality lately forcing that demeanor has just lowered my mood.
I've been out at the house less which has been a positive thing. I realized it doesn't necessarily get easier being there like I originally thought; instead you just grow numb or immune to it. Being at the house is so emotionally draining, mainly because you can't stop yourself from constantly searching the fields for a furry face. I can be in the middle of a conversation, only to realize my eyes are trained on the horizon, barely taking in what's being said to me. It's horrible not knowing. Especially with the sudden arrival of this rainy, wintry weather, it's been even more apparent how desperate we become for answers. I'd even be okay knowing some other family has taken Munch in, loving and caring for him. I just want to believe he is somewhere warm and cozy, out of this unfamiliar world. Back to my goal of finding positives...
March 2- I got to see my Little Jordan, from Sigma, and it was great to spend time and be able to mourn with her.
March 3- my beloved best friend Kaitlyn came out to the house to see me and the family. She was able to take in the house, help us sort pictures with my cousin Kim, before taking r for a much needing break in Denton. We spent the night at her parents house and it was wonderful to see my second family.
March 4- although I slept through too much of my visit with kaitlyn and her family, it was incredible to sneak a nap in.
March 5- an old roommate Jessie came to take me shopping for the day- the shopping itself was tiring but the company was much needed!
March 6- I seem to have lost this day in my memory for the time being?
March 7- not only did I get to see my grandma for lunch, I got to witness my best friend Kaitlyn getting engaged! That was a desperately needed joyous occasion. I also got to see many sigma sisters afterwards which warmed my heart.
March 8- got to spend time with Travis and Elisabeth, (and kitties phoebe and Tobias!)
March 9- day didn't go exactly as planned overall after suffering vertigo and a severe allergy attack, but I did get to have a yummy sushi lunch with Kaitlyn and spend time with my pledge sister Lauren :)
March 10, today- I've spent today recuperating, laying in bed reading the hunger games trilogy.
Every day is a new day
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Friday, March 2, 2012
What Came Next...
Well, I ended my last post with, "Can't wait to see what today brings!" Oh, what the day brought...
I can see now that God was truly preparing my heart when I made my decision to give up complaining for lent and begin this list. He knew that a storm was coming, and I would need to count every miracle He provided us. So, here is my list.
2-28: Both my parents were physically unharmed from the fire that destroyed our home this night. My parents were surrounded by loving neighbors, showered with support and love.
2-29: I was able to get off work and fly home to be with my family.
3-1: God answered our prayers, although differently than expected, and allowed us to find 2 of our 3 cats and lay them to rest. In finding them, we were able to know that they died of smoke inhalation, therefore they fell asleep quickly and painlessly. This is a comfort greater than I can explain. I got to say goodbye to my precious cat, my baby Lucy, tell her how greatly I have and always will love her, and let her go to God.
Today, 3-2: We have managed to finish clearing the rooms, without yet finding our kitten Munch. This leaves us with a glimmer of hope. If any of the cats had a chance of escaping, he had the best. Being the little rascal he is, he was constantly darting out the door outside any time we opened it. My mom left the front door wide open when she ran from the house, praying they would follow. We are praying his furry face comes around soon.
Although our home is destroyed and we have lost precious furry members of our family, God is sovereign. He is bringing to light how many truly good people there are in the world, showing just how loved my amazing parents are by their community. Did God send the fire? No. But He prepared our hearts, has us tightly wrapped in His hands, and will bring us closer to Him. We have been received miracle after miracle, from things as wonderful as finding my mom's wedding ring, to the mere fact that we've been able to laugh on occasion. We will be appreciating every miracle and blessing that comes our way. Our faith will not waiver in this trial. As my brother so beautifully said, the Smith family burns brighter than any fire.
I can see now that God was truly preparing my heart when I made my decision to give up complaining for lent and begin this list. He knew that a storm was coming, and I would need to count every miracle He provided us. So, here is my list.
2-28: Both my parents were physically unharmed from the fire that destroyed our home this night. My parents were surrounded by loving neighbors, showered with support and love.
2-29: I was able to get off work and fly home to be with my family.
3-1: God answered our prayers, although differently than expected, and allowed us to find 2 of our 3 cats and lay them to rest. In finding them, we were able to know that they died of smoke inhalation, therefore they fell asleep quickly and painlessly. This is a comfort greater than I can explain. I got to say goodbye to my precious cat, my baby Lucy, tell her how greatly I have and always will love her, and let her go to God.
Today, 3-2: We have managed to finish clearing the rooms, without yet finding our kitten Munch. This leaves us with a glimmer of hope. If any of the cats had a chance of escaping, he had the best. Being the little rascal he is, he was constantly darting out the door outside any time we opened it. My mom left the front door wide open when she ran from the house, praying they would follow. We are praying his furry face comes around soon.
Although our home is destroyed and we have lost precious furry members of our family, God is sovereign. He is bringing to light how many truly good people there are in the world, showing just how loved my amazing parents are by their community. Did God send the fire? No. But He prepared our hearts, has us tightly wrapped in His hands, and will bring us closer to Him. We have been received miracle after miracle, from things as wonderful as finding my mom's wedding ring, to the mere fact that we've been able to laugh on occasion. We will be appreciating every miracle and blessing that comes our way. Our faith will not waiver in this trial. As my brother so beautifully said, the Smith family burns brighter than any fire.
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